its hard to keep a smile on my face while babysitting my niece only because i'm thinking about all the things i need to finish. . . like my thesis. she's at the curious stage, pressing buttons, ripping papers, eating papers, touching outlets, and changing radio stations. being around her makes me feel so overwhelmed, probably because she makes me think about all the things i need to accomplish before i ever decide to create a playmate. i hate to say it sometimes but i just don't want to babysit her. it's so time consuming and exhausting. i know it's only once a week but still it's one day lost. i wonder if she gets that sense from me, i'm sure she does at times. i think it's a manifestation of all the stress i'm experiencing right now. parents keep pressuring me about finding a job, buying a ticket to the philippines for them, my healthcare. on top of that my dad doesn't see the value of my thesis. he would have rather had me working right after my BA. then they tell me not to stress out, and really i'm not stressing out until they come around. i think i need my own bubble right now.
now let's think about my thesis:
my previous entry highlights the pressures of family when one chooses this particular path/lifestyle as an activist. it's seen as the penniless job w/no financial security. hence folks talk about their economic jobs aside from the community jobs.
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