still developing this

from wowowee, to mail order brides, to modern day slavery, to the women on deal, no deal. . it seems like women are nothing but accessories in this partiarchal society meant to keep the men's eyes entertained.  i wonder what the filipin@s who went to go to watch wowowee yesterday in san diego would think if their daughters were the ones who dancing around in a suggestive manner? but it's all out of fun and entertainment right?  that's why nicole "deserved" what happened to her along with the woman in okinawa.  

it seems to me that both men and woman are policing women's bodies and deciding on what's an appropriate and inappropriate display.  but then i get stuck when we throw in sexuality?  how do we own our sexuality and gender at the same time? 

more questions.

the more i embark on this journey to intellectual freedom, the more questions i have about reality.  one pervasive question is: how do filipinas reclaim power that was denied to them through gender oppression? if 1st generation filipin@s use the morality and virtuousity of their filipina daughters as a way to uplift the community, what effect does this have on the pinays?  are we constricted to these maria claras, the colonial image of a pinay as clothed by the spanish?  

i'm coming from a place where i see the world divided according to genitalia as the most basic form of gender segregation and we know the world would turn upside down if we complicated this even further to include gender expressions and identities and non-heteronormative behavior. anyway, as i was saying it seems to me that it is so much easier to organize a community based on racial/ethnic solidarity and to some degree a class level.  that is a space where both genders are collectively involved. yet when it comes it gender oppression, it tends to be very one-sided. . . a focus on woman's issues.  but does gender not oppress men as well?  is patriarchy not an oppressive structure for both filipinos and filipinas?  

i am trying to understand how as a community we are able to empower ourselves in each aspect of social justice through a collective process.  i am trying to understand how are planning on moving forward while recognizing that we live in a post colonial, imperialist world.  

there are so many pinays in positions of leadership in our filipin@ american student organizations.  college as a place where most of us become politically born and conscious also encourages our participation in these student organizations.  while the focus is on the community, i wonder how pinays address or understand the gender dynamic that takes place in these spaces.  at the same time understanding that these gender dynamics stem from a colonial, imperial, and patriarchal system that makes us interchangeable and complacent in the system. 

so. . .

i haven't made much progress on my thesis.  i realize the momentum is there after meeting with committee members, but then it fades away after a couple of days or so.  i don't think i have the discipline to get through this.  it's not as uniform and structured as taking classes.  

so what's on my plate:

KAMP: one more month to go and we still need to finalize our last lesson plan, last class is Dec 19

GABNet: i'm still around. as much as this is has been a personal struggle, i'm still around.  we have two high school conferences  and hopefully things will slow down. 

Townhall: meeting with the folks from Backroom Podcast to review the plan of action 

School: still have two assignments from last semester to complete

Thesis: JUST GET THAT SHIT DONE!

ASI: need to coordinate facilitators for the social justice retreat 

That's where i'm at right now.